As she watched friends get married and begin growing their families, Hannah admits she struggled with feeling like she was “behind”. Growing up in the Christian culture, she felt there was a narrative many held that life began after you got married. That for some, worth was determined by whether they were in a relationship or not. During her years of singleness Hannah wrestled with those narratives herself. Yet God met her in those lies and replaced them with His truths. She was able to discover that her worth was already established in Jesus. There was no starting point that hadn’t been reached yet because her story had already begun. Before meeting her husband Marcus, before becoming a wife, she was already fully whole in Jesus.

We can choose to build our life around formulas or to build the foundation on Jesus. Hannah knows that when the formulas Christian culture, society, and our own selves create, breakdown… there is still Jesus. He is there to extend more grace, to be our strength, and to remind us our identity is in Him. It isn’t in a title or a relationship or a job. It’s solely in the One who created us.

Separately, Marcus realized the same thing as a single guy. There is no such thing as being behind when you are allowing God to shape and grow you on His timeline. It’s tempting to believe we know what’s best for us, but if the Lord knows all, He is sure to know what’s best. He knows that he met Hannah at a time in his life when he was ready to be what she needed. He had used his single season to be intentional in his pursuit of God, knowing that a relationship is built on the foundation of two individuals. He recognizes that both of them had to pursue the Lord separately so they could be in a healthy place to pursue the Lord together.

There is value in being single. You are not less than because you aren’t married. Sometimes in church culture, singles are treated as people in a holding cell just waiting for their "real life" to begin when they get married. But this is a lie. Singleness matters, we worship a Savior who was a single man who never married. Paul says singleness is of great value (1 Corinthians 7v6-9). There is a part to play even if you aren’t married. And while singleness may seem like an unwanted gift, God wants to use this season to bring forth fruit.

Knowing the value of their season of singleness and not wanting to waste it, one of the big things Marcus and Hannah both focused on while waiting was Kingdom work. As we have recently heard from Jose in our study of 1 Corinthians, each individual has a call on their life; a story to tell. It’s true whether you are married or not, have children or not. We all have ways we can pour into others and serve our community. Both Hannah and Marcus took that call seriously and spent their single season serving in different capacities. They spent time discovering their gifts and figuring out what they liked to do. Their encouragement to others in a similar waiting season to find ways to use your gifts and passions where you currently are. In their single seasons they learned the rhythms you form outside of marriage will help shape your rhythms inside your marriage. If you wait to serve until you are married, you are withholding the call God has placed on your life right here and right now from the world and making it harder to develop healthy habits within marriage.

Hannah and Marcus both reflect on their singleness as a time of rich community. Hannah remembers discovering that the patterns and habits in how she treated her friends would impact how she would treat her future husband. How do you treat your friends? Are you intentional in your relationships? How well do you care for others and sacrifice your own needs for the needs of others? Much like forming rhythms outside of marriage, establishing the kind of friend you are will reflect the kind of romantic partner you’ll be. Use your waiting years to pour into your friends, get deeply rooted in a community, and invest in the people who are part of your life right now.

Singleness for Marcus and Hannah was a test of faith. It taught them to rely on God alone for their satisfaction. It taught them to trust in God in their unique stories even when it didn’t look like the “typical” world/Christian timeline. Through years of waiting they both learned that God is sufficient even when life isn’t what they thought it would be.

You may not be single, but you may be waiting on something (i.e. kids, your dream job, financial stability, etc.). You may have spent years praying for it to come to fruition. The waiting gets exhausting, and hope can begin to wane. Let Marcus and Hannah’s story be an encouragement that the waiting is not in vain. It’s not for nothing. God uses every single piece of our story. Our job is to remain rooted in Him in all circumstances, and to remain obedient to the calling on our life. He is the Author, and His timeline is perfect.

Marcus and Hannah have been part of the 26 West Church family for just under 2 years. If you find yourself at church early on Sundays, chances are you’ve seen Marcus setting up chairs in the main gathering space and Hannah helping in the kitchen. Both have been eager and committed to getting involved on serve teams and in community groups at the church. Marcus works in hospital finance and Hannah works for the Hillsboro school district in the Human Resources department. The two met on Bumble, an online dating app, in 2019, and are celebrating 8 months married this month.

Since the beginning of their relationship, and even before meeting each other, they have prioritized the Lord and made the choice to trust in God’s timeline rather than their own. Both in their early 30’s, a lot of surrender was involved in the timing of everything, from singleness, to dating and engagement, and even into marriage.

While the wait was longer than either of them anticipated, they can see how God was using their years of singleness to refine and shape them in ways that being in a relationship would have made more difficult. Whether you are single, praying for a spouse, or waiting for something else, let their story spur you on and be an encouragement that the waiting has purpose.