Dave Logan
“Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.”
Matthew 10v39
Dave Logan knows this to be true. After years of living life his own way, denying God, and finding temporary satisfaction in drugs and alcohol, he heard God knocking on his heart to let Him in.
Dave was raised in church, but struggled to feel safe to ask questions and express doubts towards God. So as he got older and following God was finally a choice, no longer a requirement by his parents, he ran in the opposite direction of faith and all he had been taught about Christianity. However, he had a hard time finding direction and purpose. He was living solely for himself, doing whatever felt good to him. When he eventually got married and his wife became pregnant with their first child, it was a wake up call to change the way he had been living. He realized he didn’t like who he saw when he looked in the mirror, and didn’t want to cast his shame onto his daughter. That led him to pursue a degree and career in civil engineering, and pour all he had into his family, desiring to be the best father and husband possible. His wife was not a believer and often pushed Dave away from the faith and those who held it as well.
The pandemic brought a lot of things to light in his 18-year marriage that he had been blind to before. As Dave became increasingly aware of the physical and emotional abuse he and his two kids had been experiencing for years, he stood up for himself and his children. After his wife’s arrest and several attempts at extending grace, forgiveness, and working towards reconciliation, Dave made the hard but necessary decision to end his marriage. During this season, Dave struggled with feeling it was up to him to solve the problem and fix the situation on his own. It was later when he realized God had never left his side and doesn’t expect us to figure it all out on our own. He is our Shepherd and our Helper.
Walking along this difficult road with him was a friend, Abbie, who knew Jesus and showed the love of God to Dave repeatedly. While Dave was hesitant to re-engage in Christianity he finally had the space to look inward and reflect on his spirituality. In addition to his own self-reflection, Abbie’s actions and faith were in direct contradiction to his history and experiences with Christianity, sparking an interest in him to potentially open up that door again. He began questioning whether he had maybe gotten it all wrong. All the things he had learned about Jesus, the things he had heard in church, the negative thoughts he had about Christianity--"what if I had gotten it all wrong?" Dave started to notice the lies the enemy had been planting in his head for so many years.
In the Summer of 2022, the Holy Spirit met Dave in a moment of intense turmoil and depression while laying in bed one night. With nothing but overwhelming conflict in his mind, he felt that there was a vice constricting his heart, making it impossible to sleep. Dealing with deep pain and grief, the noise in his mind was unbearable. But amidst the chaos, he heard a soft knock and he knew it was Jesus. He was simply asking Dave to let Him in. To give Him a chance to bring peace, redemption, and life again. Accepting His invitation, Dave slid out of his bed, landed on his knees, and began to pray: “Lord, I submit. I am yours. My heart is yours, my life is yours. Do with me what you will.” In that moment, all the conflict and noise in his mind vanished. Complete peace washed over him from head to toe like he had never experienced before. Jesus was there with him.
The next morning he asked Abbie if he could join her at church and found himself sitting in a chair at 26 West Church. Taking that first step into church after so many years and with so much shame, he felt dread. But once he walked in the doors, he was greeted with welcoming smiles and felt a sense of belonging.
What followed that Sunday was a deep hunger to know Jesus. To understand this God that seemed to have endless compassion for His people. By God’s divine timing, Alpha would be kicking off only a month later. These evenings were specifically devoted to asking any and all questions to better understand who God is and how He works. Dave took the step to attend Alpha, but was skeptical at first. He found himself shocked that first night when people were actually talking about the questions they would like to ask God. He remembers Beth Viducich, a leader here in our church family saying she'd love to ask God "if there's intelligent life on another planet?" To be in a space where you were able to truly ask anything was a game changer for him after for so long being told you could never question God or bring your questions to God.
Alpha gave Dave the support he needed as a new believer. Being able to engage with others in real, honest, and open conversations about faith created a safe space for him to dive deeper into his faith and learn about Christ without judgment. The Alpha course re-laid a foundation of faith for Dave. It broke down lies from his past and allowed a rebuilding with God and Christianity.
When the opportunity of baptism presented itself to Dave last Fall, he was conflicted. His divorce was not yet finalized, he still held onto deep shame from his past, and he felt the pressure to get his life cleaned up before taking the step towards baptism. There was still healing to be done. While wrestling with guilt and regret, he was reminded that baptism is not about getting your life together, and then coming to God. Baptism is about starting a new life in Christ. That happens right where you are. Jesus meets you in the middle of the mess. His divorce being finalized wasn’t going to make him a new person. Ridding himself of shame wasn’t going to make him a new person. Jesus Christ is the only thing that can make us new. When he accepted that truth, he felt the anger and bitterness he had carried with him for so long disappear, and what replaced it was true peace, comfort, and forgiveness from God.
Dave decided to get baptized last October at 26 West Church, and it was an experience he never wants to forget. The most overwhelming physical experience he has ever had. Completely enveloped in God’s presence as he went down and came out of the water. Overcome with emotion about how good God is, and how faithful He was to rescue Dave.
As Matthew 10v39 reminds us, “Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.” Dave knows this to be true. Living for yourself and seeking to live life on your own leads to death. Living for Jesus, surrendering to Jesus, and dying to yourself leads to life. This is hard, but it’s worth it - for it’s the way to be truly loved, known, forgiven, and chosen by the very Orchestrator of life itself.
If you are someone who has walked the path of shame, God wants to offer you freedom. Nothing puts you out of His reach. He desires a relationship with you, despite your sin. He died on the cross so that sin and shame would no longer separate you from Him. God takes the ashes and makes beauty. He can redeem any situation. There is purpose in your story, whatever it may be. Confess your shortcomings and accept His grace today.
On April 25th we are kicking off another 8-week session of Alpha. We invite you to come ask your questions and share your doubts about God or Christianity. This is a safe space to process your faith journey, whether you grew up in the church or are just discovering Jesus. Everyone is welcome and no questions are off limits. These nights will include a meal shared together, a video highlighting aspects of the Christian faith, and an opportunity to ask your questions. If you’d like to join us for one night or all 8 weeks, please register so we can plan accordingly.